For Our Own Humanity, We Must Remember Shaun Dykes

Hello Papamoka Bloggers - I know it involves a crowd overseas, but I still think it's important for us to remember just how cruel people can get, especially when they gather and act like a mob. This is a stark and painful follow-up to my comments on last week's hateful campaign crowds, and just how horribly wrong things can go when they get out of hand. Like I said, people can die.

In the UK last week 17 year old Shaun Dykes threw himself off the roof of a shopping center in Derby, England, after a crowd gathered below and goaded him into jumping while chanting anti-gay obscenities. Shaun stood on the building roof for three hours contemplating killing himself. Eyewitness Alasdair Kay told the BBC's Today, "We could hear people shouting 'jump fag' followed by a stream of expletives. They weren't all just young people, some were middle-aged. To be honest with you I was sickened."

BBC reports that Derbyshire's Chief Constable Mick Creedon confirmed that members of the public encouraged the teenager to kill himself. Some filmed the event and posted it on the Internet. Pictures of him standing on top of the railings before his death even appeared in the newspaper the Daily Mail.

Up to 300 people gathered below where Shaun was perched on a railing. Some sources say that some observers, incredibly, allowed their children to watch. "Whilst we are very used to dealing with incidents like this, this was unusual with members of the public videoing, taking photographs and even shouting for Shaun to jump," Creedon said.

His teacher Rob Howard said that he was an openly gay student and that many of the kids “goaded him to jump" for that reason. The Bishop of Derby, the Rev. Dr. Alastair Redfern, added: “I’m horrified. I hope these people feel deeply ashamed. Here was a very troubled person crying out for help.”

After three hours and plenty of loud shouts of "jump fag" from the crowd, Shaun jumped the 60 feet to his death. It is reported that Shaun left a suicide note and was upset after the break-up of a relationship. His friends say that he was a great guy who "always had a smile on his face."

The whole story disgusts me, especially reading about how the crowd wasn't questioned or charged. The authorities just let the hate-mongering accomplices go free. The police said it was because the crowd was too large. I say it was because they didn't care enough. Crowds, like bullies, often get away with harm, or murder. Society should not tolerate hate, from individuals or crowds.

I am horrified, but not surprised. I've almost been a victim of crowd related violence myself after I tried to help somebody being threatened and abused. People didn't come to my defense against the bullies; they joined in the bullying. We were lucky to get out of there with only a few scratches and light punches.

I think that's what happens when people gather and allow hate to consume them. Who knows, it might be from a dark place completely unrelated. Perhaps they're expressing their anger at the world, or their disappointment in their own lives? Who knows, but the bottom line is they can't seem to stop themselves from taking it out on innocent people. They seem to lose touch with those very important parts of our social humanity: empathy, sympathy and compassion. It's like they become animals or something.

Shaun died partly because of his own pain, but also because of society's willingness to tolerate the hate that ultimately taunted him to his death. Our leaders need to always remind us that we are responsible for controlling our own anger, and for taking care of each other.

We should never channel - individually or as a crowd - any hate or anger in a destructive way. As I said on my earlier crowd-related post, people can get seriously hurt or die when crowds are allowed to erupt into verbal and physical violence. That crowd below Shaun should have been dispersed. The police failed to do their job.

We are each our brother's keeper. We are all responsible for our society's actions. We must demand civility and security for ourselves and those vulnerable among us. I would like to convey my personal condolences and prayers for Shaun, his family and friends. I hope they can find peace.

Finally, I urge you take action and sign an online tribute to Shaun here to show them we care. I also urge you to join good government organizations that fight against hate and violence. Feel free to email me if you want my personal suggestions.

Michael Boh

Papamoka's West Coast Contributor

from Our Rants & Raves Blog

Domestic Violence with a Badge

Let me just say this, my wife would kick my sorry ass if I ever raised a hand to her. My five daughters would probably join in on kicking my sorry ass if I hit their mother and Mom called for an Iron cage death match.

Domestic violence knows no boundaries or occupations and no race, creed, color or sexual orientation is without it. Tempers are what they are and sometimes the job comes home with you and sometimes some people can not check it at the door. Domestic violence is a serious problem in America and the flood gates of what is really happening in our nation is not talked about enough. It’s a fact that the majority of the abuse on spouses and children goes unreported. More times than not the violence is silent or quieted behind the four walls of a families home. The perpetrator and abusive family member is looked at from the family in a submissive mode and that the victim probably did something wrong to deserve a beating. That thought process is hard to comprehend but it happens every single day in America.

There was this story in the Boston Herald that I found and it points out several Boston Police officers that have had serious domestic violence complaints lodged against them and still hold the badge.

Critics: BPD soft on abuse
Boston cops punished in domestic cases, but kept their jobs

By O’Ryan Johnson
Friday, January 11, 2008

Despite talking tough on domestic violence, the Boston Police Department did not fire any of the 11 officers disciplined in the past two years for punching their spouses, striking their children and other violent incidents, a Herald review shows.

The punishments handed down by Police Department brass in those cases include two five-day suspensions, three 30-day suspensions and one 40-day suspension. Of the remaining officers who were investigated, two retired, two resigned and one has a criminal case pending.

“It’s outrageous,” Mary Lauby, executive director of Jane Doe Inc., said of the department’s lack of a zero-tolerance policy against battering cops.

Snip and Cuff em Dan O’

Police Commissioner Edward Davis, who has been on the job for a little over a year, said a tougher policy has been in place since June 2006 that specifies officers can be fired for domestic violence complaints even if they aren’t found guilty in court.

Davis said only one officer has been punished under the new rules, Lt. Dave Murphy, who received a five-day suspension for allegedly punching his girlfriend off a bar stool in Baltimore. In that case, the victim did not cooperate with the department, Davis said.

But Lauby of Jane Doe didn’t buy that as a valid defense of the department’s policy.

“This entire reliance on victims in order to prosecute, it’s a sham,” she said. “We all know that there is a substantial amount of domestic violence that never reaches anyone’s attention.” - Boston Herald

Violence in the home is and should not be tolerated by any wife, Mother, or child. Violence against family members is much like starting down the road of beginner drugs or alcohol. For that matter some people think that domestic violence is just as bad as addiction to drugs or alcohol. One step at a time it can ramp up till the walls all come crumbling down. In the worst possible scenario a spouse or child is dead at the hands of a family member.

The Herald piece pasted all Boston Police Officers in the same mold and that is not true reporting. It does however point out that the rules for all law enforcement officers needs to be a higher standard than the general public rules and laws. As in most professions in America there are idiots and scum bags. Boston’s Police Department is no different. Not all cops are wife beaters and not all cops are abusive to their children.

I don’t think there is a police officer in Boston that thinks the idiot highlighted in the Herald’s piece is nothing but a scum bag. With his disgraceful behavior in his private life it reflects back on all of the Boston Police whether they all like it or not. Then again the Herald goes out of its way to attack all public servants in Boston.

Real men, real woman do not need to hit or abuse anyone if you just open your mouth and logically vent. Violence against the family members that love you even if you have hit them in the past is not the answer. Asking them what you should do in your life is the answer. If that does not help then get some serious mental health consultation. One punch to the ones you love will damage not only your life but the ones you love forever. Seek help and advice everywhere you can and save not just your conscience but the horrible result of a family bound by violence.

My personal advice to the battered woman that are married to an abusive husband, get out and do it NOW! The life you save may be your own. No woman should tolerate even one moment of abuse. This is not 1808, this is 2008. Ending the cycle of violence from the victims point is far better than staying and letting your children learn that it is okay to beat their mother. Life long lessons are funny that way.

Papamoka