Winter in the Bay State

It's winter in Massachusetts and the gentle breezes blow,
Thirty freaking miles an hour at twenty-five below.
Oh, how I love Massachusetts when the snow's up to your butt,
You take a breath of winter and your nose gets frozen shut!!
Yes, the weather here is wonderful so I guess I'll hang around,
I could never leave Massachusetts because I'm frozen to the ground!
Author Unknown

Then we have this little thought…

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . . . . . .

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Massachusetts plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Massachusetts sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Massachusetts drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Massachusetts throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Massachusetts have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
People in Massachusetts close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Massachusetts get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Massachusetts are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Massachusetts let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Bostonians get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Massachusetts start saying..."Cold enough foh ya?"

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Massachusetts public schools will open 2 hours late
Author Unknown

Papamoka

You Don’t Know What Cold Is

I’ve always considered myself a hearty New Englander. Poor weather conditions come with the turf of living in the Northeast of America. On the bright side, if you wait a minute the weather will change. All but one of my six brothers and sisters immigrated to Florida for the warmth and yes they do call when blizzards hit and brag about being out on the patio.

We had a small snow storm the other night and I was boxing up the fluffy white stuff into very compact snow balls to ship to my hateful siblings so they can enjoy our pain and suffering. I cleverly installed a launching device to throw whatever is left of my snowball in the box by the time it hits West Palm Beach right in their smug face when they open the care package.

Then I came across this on Yahoo from the AP on what the folks in central Alaska are putting up with. 60 below ZERO! No wonder there is less than a million folks living up there! The rest of them froze to death! God bless them for their stamina for not packing up the truck and moving to Arizona, Texas, Nevada, or even Florida where the temperatures are always moderately warm in comparison. So now I don’t feel so bad when it is 22 degrees out and the heating system kicks in. At sixty below zero I would be busting up the kitchen table and cooking it for heat in the friging oven. Basting it with lighter fluid from the charcoal grill every twenty minutes. Check out what Yahoo News has to say…

By STEVE QUINN, Associated Press Writer Steve Quinn – Thu Jan 8, 5:59 am ET

National Weather Service meteorologist Andy Brown said high pressure over much of central Alaska has been keeping other weather patterns from moving through. New conditions get pushed north or south while the affected area faces daily extremes.

"When it first started almost two weeks ago, it wasn't anything abnormal," Brown said.

"About once or twice every year, we get a good cold snap. But, in this case, you can call this an extreme event. This is rare. It doesn't happen every year."

Temperatures sit well below zero in the state's various regions, often without a wisp of wind pushing down the mercury further.

Johnson lives in Stevens Village, where residents have endured close to two weeks of temperatures pushing 60 below zero. - Yahoo News/AP

I don’t know about you but I get the chills just reading 60 below zero? How the hell do you insulate a home against that kind of extreme cold? The walls of the house would need to be eight feet thick and filled with the stuff to keep the cold out. How many heating systems do you need to keep up with keeping the house at a comfortable temperature? God bless the hearty folks of Alaska, I will stop bitching about the cold in New England. I'll be tossing an extra comforter on the bed just thinking about this story.

Papamoka