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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Castro Still Not Dead on FNNN

False Not the News Network – Born on Date 8/1/06

Covering American Political Events While Intoxicated giving you the Fair and Tipsy facts…

Today’s top headline story is that Cuban leader Fidel Castro is still not dead. Power of the island communist nation was quietly ripped from his cold but not dead hands by his younger brother Raul. In a brief statement Raul Castro noted that the hubcaps on the 52’ Buick were his too!

Tony Snow from the White House pressroom confirmed that Castro is not dead as yet but he could definitely confirm that General Fransisco Franco of Spain was in fact still dead.

In Florida today Governor Jeb Bush met quietly with the US Coast Guard to go over plans for a mass evacuation of Cubans. Being very fond of the Cigars he wanted to make sure they didn’t get wet when he evacuated them all at once as soon as Castro is dead. Protestors waved signs stating that there are people in Cuba too.

This just in… Castro is still not dead.

In a related story rescue workers in Worcester, Mass. Raced to the scene of a small two seater aircraft that crashed in Rural Cemetery late this afternoon. The dead number over 300 so far but they expect that number to go much higher as they continue to dig through the night.

We will be back after this commercial break brought to you by Big Drug companies charging American’s a bundle while giving it away in Canada…

This FNNN broadcast has been bought and paid for by Bazzillionaire’s R Us and the Organization for Dumbing Down (ODD)

****For serious commentary and opinion on Castro still not dead we highly suggest The Gun Toting Liberal...

****The Washington Post has this story covered too...

****The New York Times has this story covered too...

****MSNBC and the Associated Press has this stroy covered too...
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