What is Love
I was talking with my future brother in-law on the phone and he asked me to write a piece on my blog that was pure emotion. At first I thought he was drunk or talking bullshit like most people that want to get into your mind and find out how you tick. Trust me, he wants to know who the hell I am whereas he is very protective of his baby sister. Then I thought about it and decided that it is a challenge well worth undertaking. He didn't say what topic to talk about other than that it had to be who the hell Papamoka is.
I chose the topic of love and what it means to me and in the different situations that it can be in one persons life. Love knows no boundaries, no limitations or exceptions. Love is the one human emotion that can never be explained. You can love mashed potato's with extra butter and sour cream but it is not the same as loving you child? You can love your mother or father but it is not the same as loving the person you are with. You can love your child and it is not the same love as the love you have for the person that you created that child with.
In my personal situation I have five beautiful daughters that I love them all to no end for each individual child that they are and yet one of them I adopted because I love that child more than she will ever know. And to this day she is still my pride and joy just as much as her sisters are. There is a bond of parenthood even if it is not biological that happens between a father and a daughter that also happens between fathers and sons that is just pure love. How you as a parent interpret that love and raise the child is the latter effect of love for the child. Have you ever heard of a parent saying that it is "Okay" to mess with their child? Harm their child physically or mentally? Never happened unless mom and dad were too messed up on whatever to care. That is parental love. And to the day that you die that parental love will never end because of the bond and love that you as two people share as a parent and a child. And then the bond and love travels beyond the grave. Ask anyone who lost a parent or child how long it has been since they passed and they will always tell you that it seems like it was just a short time ago when in reality it was several years or decades. Love of a child and parent know not what time is.
Then you have love of a man and a woman that I will express as my personal situation but the same theory of love works no matter what the relationship is. When I look at the woman I am in love with, I love her to no end. She makes me smile, she makes me laugh, she picks me up when I am down, she hugs me when the world sucks. And I do the same for her. Are we in love? Hell Ya! I look at her and she is the most amazing woman to me. This bond of love is strong and we let the relationship develop and grow by accepting that both of us have weaknesses that the other is willing to help with. This is before the thought of sexual relations even comes into the equation of what love is. I see a woman that is so beautiful but thinks she is not and I laugh. I see a million dollar smile and she tries to hide it. Her smile by the way is infectious. I see a woman that loves me and accepts me for who I am and that works for me. I see my woman and I see happiness and love. She completes me in more ways than she will ever understand. And in the end, she loves me just as much as I love her.
Then we get to personal love. It is impossible to love another person if you do not love who you are as a person. When you want to talk about love, I think it is always best to look in the mirror and ask the person there if they love who they are. Till you do that you need to look in that mirror and fix that person.
Other than that... I'm PRO LOVE! Love my baby girls, love my girlfriend, love life. Love is good.
Papamoka
John Myste Responds has linked in to this post. Thank ya!
Labels: What is Love
posted by Papamoka at
4:30 PM
16 Comments:
The definition today will not include what we will know tomorrow.
My definition is expanding all the time. Love you too.
You can love mashed potato's with extra butter and sour cream but it is not the same as loving you child?
If your children happen upon this blog, that is going to be very painful for them to learn.
There is a bond of parenthood even if it is not biological
Loving someone because they are biologically yours is simply selfish love of oneself, so I applaud you. Many people love children for other reasons. I, however, love myself more than I could ever love another human. I am sure of it.
This bond of love is strong and we let the relationship develop and grow by accepting that both of us have weaknesses that the other is willing to help with. This is before the thought of sexual relations even comes into the equation of what love is.
But what about what Commander Worf said: ”It is the scent that first speaks of love.”
I have believed that ever since receiving relationship advice from a Klingon. I cannot rethink it all now.
She completes me in more ways than she will ever understand.
You mean you did not bring a whole person into the relationship? That hardly seems fair.
When you want to talk about love, I think it is always best to look in the mirror and ask the person there if they love who they are.
Interesting you bring this up. I have a friend who is a scientologist and he talks about the “dynamics” of life. They can be thought of as concentric circles of success in life.
The first dynamic is yourself: your well-being, your happiness level, your ambitions, how much anger you have, how content you are with who you are, how closely you are the person you want to be (or are steadily and “causatively” moving in that direction). How well you know yourself.
The second dynamic “Creativity,” is your relationship with your significant other, your children, the family unit. It is the closest personal interaction you create. Anything that is not being created is decaying. You must continually “causatively” create this dynamic. Consciously improve it, so the theory goes.
Third dynamic is “Group Survival,” such as your work life, your school life, whatever. How well do you “survive” or excel in the group context.
The fourth dynamic is “Species,” clearly just a larger group.
There are for additional dynamics, Life Forms, Physical Universe, Spiritual Universe and Infinity (The Supreme Being, meaning, perhaps nothing more, than existence itself).
There is a very interesting theory about these dynamics, which I think may be partially accurate and it’s good to be aware of the concept even if it is wrong. You touched on it. The theory is that you cannot “fix” or significantly improve a dynamic, unless all lower dynamics are in order. In other words, if I am not content with myself, do not know myself, am without direction or without discipline, then when I correct this, I will change, become someone else. Therefore, I should not seek marriage or children (second dynamic) if my first dynamic (self) is a mess. The same is true about surviving well at work. If my first or second dynamic is troubled, I will not and cannot be content at work.
I don’t know if I totally agree with it, but you made me think of it, and I tend to just echo the thoughts a blog inspires.
Other than that... I'm PRO LOVE! Love my baby girls, love my girlfriend, love life. Love is good.
I agree that love is good. I have a slightly different reason for loving love. I will address it a little later. It is something I have wanted to discuss for a while. I may make a post about it, or I may just come back and post it here, as would be proper, as you are the one who inspired this back into my mind.
I will say this for now: I have often thought about love. What it is it? It is intense like. I love my wife and mashed potatoes.
This is only a test. Disregard.
Disregard
John, John, John!!
Matty this was beautiful, just like you! Your Sonia is extremely lucky to have you, as are your girls!!
Can 2 people, who have never met, love each other?? I love you my brotha from anotha Motha...
John I can't wait to read your LOVE post!!
Cold day in hell when Spock aka John posts a love post. Then again he can have priveledge to post whatever he wants on Papamoka as a contributor.
I love ya too Sue!!!
Disregard
Papa,
First of all, my name isn't Sue. Secondly, I don't love you. I like you. I think you are a personable fellow, but I reserve love for mashed goods and spouses.
ROFLOL John. Volley for serve dude. What have you got now?
Cold day in hell when Spock aka John posts a love post.
Hmm.
Is there anything you want to confess, Mr. Papa?
I stand corrected John and I applaud you for your in depth thought on the topic of what love really is. I disagree with you on many of the points in your article at http://johnmyste.wordpress.com/2011/10/15/the-anatomy-of-love/ but I do agree that you do love your pizza as much as I love my mashed potato's. But I would give up everything for my children and the love of my life. Can you say the same about your addiction to Papa John's Pizza? I wonder?
Then again, I'm affectionate toward the people in my life and huge on hugs or just holding hands for the feeling of being that much closer to them. I believe they call it a bonding experience that creates a chemical reaction that makes the feeling you have toward that person, be it a child or a spouse, a human feeling we call love. Which I happen to think is stronger than any science known to man. Now if you asked my girlfriend if she thought what she was feeling toward me was all just a messed up chemical imbalance that she had not experienced then I think she would tell you that your scientific thoughts are wrong. Being far better with words than I could ever be, I would glad to put you in touch with her if you like.
Live long and prosper... LOL!
But I would give up everything for my children and the love of my life. Can you say the same about your addiction to Papa John's Pizza? I wonder?
I probably would.
I believe they call it a bonding experience that creates a chemical reaction that makes the feeling you have toward that person, be it a child or a spouse, a human feeling we call love.
The same chemical reactions happen when watching a movie that moves you. Perhaps the idea is the experience and the subjects on whom you dote are benefiting from your commitment to love. The ability to love precedes love of a thing, and follows it. I am sure your Love du Jour is very pleased to be the Thing du Jour.
Now if you asked my girlfriend if she thought what she was feeling toward me was all just a messed up chemical imbalance that she had not experienced
You don’t ask the addict, you diagnose them. However, I see your point. We can only assume love to be purely chemical if sentience itself is assumed to be purely chemical, and there is no evidence to support that. I do not think love is purely chemical. I think it is a thing that we apply to objects, and the thing is more important to us than specific objects (usually people), that allow us to use it. Our commitment to the idea of love can be seen by watching a touching love story or by touching a real person, as you noted. Our commitment to love is very strong. As a species, we rarely divorce it or find a good substitute for it when it dies. The idea of being in love is powerful and if one is committed to that idea, they will very quickly love whoever gives the opportunity, but it is the idea that has their heart most truly.
Being far better with words than I could ever be, I would glad to put you in touch with her if you like.
I have little interest in personally interacting with bloggers, but I would love to be pointed to her blog post on the issue, if you would be so kind.
You sound pretty cynical, John. I don't know if I should want to know you in real life. Not everyone has blogged about love. Not even everyone blogs. But I am sure love is real and sometimes causes chemical imbalances. I tend to agree more with Sue.
Andorina,
But I am sure love is real and sometimes causes chemical imbalances.
That sounds a tad cynical itself. Of course love causes a chemical imbalance. I am not saying it is a bad imbalance. I think sanity itself could perhaps be defined as a balance. Perhaps this describes pure sanity: neither extremely intelligent, nor extremely stupid; neither extremely happy or extremely sad; neither extremely common, nor extremely creative.
Who wants to aspire to that? I definitely wish to be insane. I just want the good kind, love included.
John,
You and Andorina should get a womb or something. All this talking love stuff is making me sick.
I think my next post should be on how not use Preperation H and Viagara at the same time. I think that is how black holes start in the universe but I'm waiting for Uncle Stephen Hawking to reply to my email. He types really slow.
But I would give up everything for my children and the love of my life. Can you say the same about your addiction to Papa John's Pizza? I wonder?
OK, I have thought about this very carefully, and I would give up all your stuff for the love of your life also. I don't think we are too far apart where love is concerned.
I enjoyed the post. There are only a few people that I need to post at least one per week to keep me sufficiently entertained and you are now one of them.
Therefore, next!
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