Arizona to Tax Fat People

In an announcement today from Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona, she plans on taxing fat people and smokers for being unhealthy. Arizona like many other states is running a budget deficit and the Governor has to be creative with her ideas to balance the budget. Late reports and rumor is that McDonald’s Corporation is pissed and is refusing to install scales at every register and drive through in Arizona. I honestly don’t think she is wrong. She is right on track. Being a far right wing nut job myself, I would like to propose a national masturbation tax that would balance the federal budget in less than three months and pay off our nation’s entire debt in less than two years. But I digress to this report from ABC News...

As part of a plan to revamp the state's Medicaid program, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer announced on Thursday that she is proposing fees for adults who lead unhealthy lives.

Childless adults who are obese or suffer from a chronic condition and who fail to work with their doctor to meet specific goals would be charged $50 annually. The $50 annual fee also would apply to all childless adult smokers. – ABC News

My plan starts with any subscribers to pornographic magazines will be forced to pay a non-tax deductible premium for any issues with pictures in it. We all know you don’t buy that kind of magazine for its articles. My plan would also include placing key IRS agents at every municipal water treatment facility to test the waters so to speak. This data would then be collated and appropriate tax bills would be sent out by neighborhood. Police thy self is the theory behind this creative revenue generating theory. I’ve emailed several high tech water treatment companies and asked them for their guidance on who should be monitored more closely and they all came up with the same reply. Any household with teenage boys will work.

The second stage of my plan involves the honor system that will be secretly taped by the Department of Homeland Security in all Catholic Church confessionals. Pay your penance, pay your tax. To speed up the payment process, debit card machines will be installed in all confessional booths. We of course will have to grandfather in all right wing perverts under the provision of “They have been doing it since childhood and didn’t know it was taxable income (or should it be outcome) in some diluted clause in the bill.

Please feel free to add your thoughts to the plan I’ve set forth. Together we can make America safe from fat people, smokers, and masturbators. Balancing the budget and paying off our debt is just a bonus on the backs of those hot dog eating, nicotine smoking, and self pleasuring idiots from the left side of the aisle. Governor Brewer should be running for President! NOT!!!!! She is just nuts.

My thanks to Memeorandum for the heads up and the opportunity report on this very important issue.

Not the Papamoka