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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Cow Flatulence Tax

Not long ago I promised a friend that I would do a post on turds just for the hell of it. We were talking about traffic to our respective websites and how the strangest stories get the most traffic. So here I go with yet another post on another topic that I could never dream up. Cow poop tax!

In order to save us from global warming the government is going to tax cows that have gas. Damn you cows for eating all that grass. Somebody call Richard Simmons and put all bovines on a diet. More vegetables and less… umm, no that won’t work.

I wish I made this whole thing up but I didn’t…

EPA 'Cow Tax' Could Charge $175 per Dairy Cow to Curb Greenhouse Gases
Farm Bureau warns just this one rule may increase milk production costs up to 8 cents a gallon.

By Jeff Poor
Business & Media Institute
1/5/2009 3:55:30 PM

Call this one of the newest and innovative ways your government has come up with to battle greenhouse gas emissions.

Indirectly it could be considered a cheeseburger tax, but one of the suggestions offered by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) in its Advance Notice of Proposed Rulemaking (ANPR) for regulating greenhouse gas emissions under the Clean Air Act is to levy a tax on livestock

Snip… poop

The New York Farm Bureau assigned a price tag to the cost of greenhouse gas regulation by the EPA in a release last month.

“The tax for dairy cows could be $175 per cow, and $87.50 per head of beef cattle. The tax on hogs would upwards of $20 per hog,” the release said. “Any operation with more than 25 dairy cows, 50 beef cattle or 200 hogs would have to obtain permits.”
- Business and Media Institute

Stop laughing! We have to stop these cows from causing global warming. I would propose Beano or some other kind of product added to the feed for the cows to stop excess pooping aka farts.

Next up… old Uncle Ernie gets a hefty EPA fine for his gaseous byproduct and inconsiderate adding of methane gas to the environment. Check back with us soon as we also cover Auntie Girt’s baked bean recipe that kills Polar Bears.


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Blogger B.J. said...

Be careful. Big Brother is watching and sniffing. You might be next! ROTFLMAO!!! You did it. You really did it. BJ

6:45 AM  
Blogger Papamoka said...

A promise is a promise. Lets see you beat this one!!! LOL!

I wonder how they think that farmers will be able to curb this problem? Is this the same thought process of taxing smokers? Is farmer Brown supposed to cuss out Bessie the cow for doing what comes natural???? ROFLMAO!

6:57 AM  
Anonymous john personal trainers austin said...

First the government subisidizes the raising of cows, then they tax cow farts, then they give away free goverment cheese. It makes perfect sense.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Papamoka said...

LOL John!!! Holy cow poops, I never made the free cheese connection... :)

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's another Glbal Warming Hoax, put in by the democrats. Just wait. Obama is going to kill us on many of these types of taxes. So will we clearly blame Obama and not the Government or George Bush?
To be fair when we don't like something we must treat every president equally and blame them equally.

5:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way is this you Matt?

5:59 PM  
Blogger Papamoka said...

Yes it is Lisa, good to hear from you again. I hope you have been well my friend.

On the post though, I have to disagree with ya, Obama isn't even President and GWB has his boys running the EPA that is lording over this idiocy.

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know he's not president yet. By the way, "Mister There is only one president at a time", is having another press conference today.

Isn't it nice that friends can disagree?
I linked you from Steve's blog.
I figured this was you wen I saw your profile.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Papamoka said...

My email is in the sidebar Lisa, I'd put it here in the comment but every time that I do that I get tons of spam.

I'd love to know how you and the hubby are doing and how life has beeen treating ya! Send me an email.

7:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! :)

10:58 PM  

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