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Monday, January 26, 2009

Boehner Stimulated on Stimulus Package

Apparently, the main stream media elected Representative John Boehner of Ohio to the office of President of the United States. That and the fact that Democrats who took over the House, the Senate, and the White House on election day have been duped by a little known signing statement by former President George W. Bush that stated that no political party other than the Republican Party will be recognized by the press. Dick Cheney added his own personal signing statement that can not be released due to national security reasons and the fact that there were far too many expletives toward the Democrat Party.

Boehner is leading all of the news agencies around by the nose and telling them and the now also former President Obama how politics in Washington, D.C. is going to work. It is the Boehner way or the highway President Obama and you better get used to it! He's the Minority leader and you do not want him calling the ACLU on your ass!

The latest is that Boehner is “aroused” over the fact that part of the “stimulus” package is for perverted Democrats with their filthy dirty minded sex obsession. One little thought in the back of Boehner’s mind is that this is how so many of the little pukes voted Republican’s out of office. Waskilly wabbits! Somebody needs to stop them before they multiply again and no, we are not talking mathmatics educational stimulus. Over at Washington Monthly they have this to say…

STIMULUS AND CONTRACEPTIVES.... House Minority Leader Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio) appeared on "Meet the Press" yesterday, complaining about a proposed stimulus package. He noted, in particular, a proposal to spend "over $200 million for contraceptives." He asked, "How will this fix an ailing economy?"

Apparently, the contraceptives proposal has become quite an issue for conservatives. It was the lead story on Drudge this morning, far-right blogs are all worked up, and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was quizzed on the spending on ABC yesterday.

What's this all about? Are Democrats trying to spend "over $200 million" on condoms? What's the story?

As you might have guessed, it's not quite as scandalous as conservatives would have you believe.

[T]he family-planning program that Pelosi supports expanding in the stimulus bill was created in 1972 under the leadership of Republican president Richard Nixon.
What's being proposed is an expansion in the number of states that can use Medicaid money, with a federal match, to help low-income women prevent unwanted pregnancies.
- Washington Monthly

Damn if I wasn’t right, President Nixon was onto the espionage and deceitful tactics of free love, sex and happiness, and the master plan of those flower wearing hippie liberals in the early 1970’s! Nixon was no fool, he knew that all that free love crap would lead to free Democrats and Independent voters one day that could vote and they had to be stopped.

Thus I propose a bait and switch tactic to President Obama and Speaker Pelosi on the sex stimulus part of the legislation. Instead of offering condoms or other forms of birth control we provide a free year of cable television. For those Liberals, Independents, and Democrats that promise to watch TV and not do the Mommy and Daddy thing, we upgrade their HBO package and include 158 channels that Reverend Ted Haggard and Reverend John Hagee can be seen on twenty four hours a day. Then in small print we offer Larry Craig ten million frequent flier miles. I think that would make most Republican’s happy enough to vote for the stimulus package.

Mr. Boehner should respectfully shut his pie hole and by all means offer to triple the “Contraceptive” stimulus package aka “Condoms For Good Republican Government” legislation. Doesn’t he realize that without the money to prevent pregnancies that all of us liberals will populate the nation by ten fold in eight years. From this point forward I am calling that future generation of Americans the KY generation.

Sit down and shut the hell up Boehner. President Obama has a nation to fix you smuck!


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Blogger DB said...

"As you might have guessed, it's not quite as scandalous as conservatives would have you believe."

I think that about sums up every single argument a Republican makes on virtually every single issue.

9:34 PM  

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