War on Halloween From Colbert

Some light hearted fun on the upcoming Halloween holiday for you to enjoy. This report from Comedy Central had me laughing out loud...



Round up the kids and on the last day of October it is time to raid the neighbors of all of their candy. One of the most important and selfless parts of being a parent is making sure that the kids candy is safe and gone through. Musketeers bars can be dangerous because they have real life Musketeers and the swords they carry in them. As the Dad I must save my children from sharp pointy objects. I'll have to confiscate all of the Three Musketeers and keep them safely in the back of the freezer under the frozen peas.

Reese’s Pieces, obviously a reference to guns and we all know guns and kids do not mix. I'll have to put all of them behind the frozen beef stew. Charleston Chew, that's a tobacco reference on that stuff that causes gum cancer. Those will have to go in the freezer too. Snickers, we don’t allow brow beating of anyone in this household so those will have to go in the freezer behind the turkey. Looks like we might have to have turkey for dinner tomorrow. Beef stew we can have for lunch. Those frozen peas have an expiration date from a year ago so maybe I should toss them out? Five kids trick or treating is a ton of candy bars that I have to protect them from intellectually speaking of course. It's not easy being a strict parent on Halloween but I do what I have to do to protect my kids from society and all of its hidden meanings.

Note to self, go to Home Depot or Sears and buy a freezer…

Papamoka

Feel free to add your candy bars and the hidden meaning behind them to protect your children.