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Friday, May 29, 2009

Reaching out for help

This is really hard for me. I’ve worked hard all my life and I have always been proud to have been able to always keep a roof over my little families head, food in the fridge and providing an atmosphere for my five baby girls to grow up in that was nothing to be ashamed of. Never in my life have I felt so ashamed to tell someone what is going on in my life. I can’t make the rent. I can’t make the electric bill, the gas bill and the list goes on.

I lost my job back in March of 2008 and unemployment ran out in March of 2009. I have never not had a job in my entire life! I’m working now pretty much for myself but it isn’t paying the bills due to the industry I work in. It takes weeks and sometimes months to produce the products I sell and I don’t get paid till the end user gets the product and then they pay for it in thirty, sixty to ninety days. It sucks! The landlord has his bills to pay and I understand that more than you know. I sympathize with him. I don’t want to be a deadbeat but I’m going to become one and I hate that fact.

My lifetime savings ran out in the beginning of May and I’m up the creek without a paddle. Your savings run down quick when your unemployment benefit is half of what you used to bring home. I’m a proud man but I am not to proud to ask for help when I really need it to keep a roof over my children’s head and food on the table. I could really use your help as a reader of this site. Without your help, I can’t keep this going if I don’t have a street address or link to post articles from. And yes I am behind on the internet bill too. I’ve been packing up personal stuff and I have no clue as to where I’m even going to put them if I loose this apartment and that fact is evident within the next thirty days. I have no idea what is going to happen to us and I’m terrified.

I’m so frustrated with myself, with my life, with everything that it is truly depressing. And yet every single day I am working the phones to try and find new customers and sometimes I do but most times I don’t. That is the nature of the business I am in. Some folks might think that I should get out of the business I know but that would be hard since I’ve been in it since 1984.

If you can help us out that would be great. If you want to knock me down further for asking for help then so be it. I’ve lost all respect for myself at this point in my life.

I set up a donation button in the sidebar that is a secure PayPal link. I thank you in advance for whatever you can donate to the Papamoka family fund to pay the rent. God bless ya and love and hugs at ya. Feel free to spread the word that Papamoka needs help to pay the rent.

Feel free to email me at to get a mailing address if that works best for you.


UPDATE: 5/31/09 My personal thanks to all of my internet and blogging friends that have helped spread the word. God bless ya all! I humbly apologize if I missed anyone and please know that it was not intentional. I'll add my heroes to the list as I find them. You all rock and you touched my heart more than you know. I have to thank Jeff especially for his contribution. He knows who he is and I thank him to no end for being a hero when I thought I was drowning. For that matter, I thank everyone that has or will donate to the Papamoka family. You all have a special place in my heart forever.

My friend K of Gun Toting Liberal
Crooks and Liars on Mikes Blog Round Up, my email bud
My sistah from another mother at Chells Roost
My left coast friend Infidel 753
Political Byline from my friend Pat
Pink Granite from my friend Lee and Chuck
The Moderate Voice and my bud Joe Gandelman
Freedom Writing and my new friend David
Wormtown Taxi and my bud Jeff

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Blogger Ranch Chimp said...

Unfortunately I'm not in a financial position to help.My finances are just tightened now to need's. There is no such thing as pride in survival. I seen this too much all around, what you are experiencing. When my children were young I was doing okay financially. I basically work for myself, and havent sought employment in awhile because it's tight.My kid's are grown... when I need money, I just do what I have to, to make money. But I hear too many say they done the right thing and ended up in this situation. Today you cant alway's do the right thing and survive very well. To survive I reckon takes more risk taking and and overhaul of past value's for some ... so doing the right thing can be different for each person.I am in no position to tell anyone what is right or wrong. I have seen folk's go into illegal businesses for instance, maybe even drug business or some other vice, who feel that they have a better shot at that then looking for employment. Is it right? or wrong? I cant say anymore, I realize folk's have to do what they must do. They keep reminding us the recession is over...which is fine for those with money... but mean's nothing to the working classes of folk's who need work. I realize having children young like that can make your situation uniquely tough.I cant give you any word's that would be useful to you or have some BS to tell you about hope. This is a matter of survival, and you can only decide for yourself what you must do, and what is "right" for you and your's. I dont think thing's like "pride" are important in time's like these for instance, I am one who believe's in fighting to the death... I know nothing else is why. I just had to comment here... take care....and if you have it in you...fight it.

2:25 AM  
Blogger B.J. said...


I’ve always signed my comments, so no need to hide behind “anonymous” now.

I am certain that, like me, all your regular readers are in sympathy with you.

Sadly, you have put yourself into a position where if they do not respond, you might conclude they don’t like you, love you or care what happens to you. That is a mistake.

Quite often, people just don’t know how to respond to situations like this. In many cases, they are struggling themselves, a very common malady today. Not only do they sympathize; they empathize.

About 14 years ago, I found myself in a similar situation and not of my making. The first thing I did (after shedding a few tears) was pick up the phone book. At the front of every phone book is a section of “help lines.” The first number I called was “the crisis hotline,” and the very helpful woman there was in no way amused that I asked her for pet food to feed my pets. She understood and was here in 30 minutes with a supply of pet food. She then gave me other numbers to call – in addition to the ones in the front of the phone book.

Asking for help when you need it has nothing to with “shame” or “respect.”

There are many local organizations ready to step in and help in an immediate crisis situation. Your electric company, for example, has a “share the warmth” program. The company can tell you the name of the local organization which dispenses this help. The organization will pay your bill for you.

In every case, where I talked with one of these groups and received temporary assistance, I was thanked for contacting them right away. They told me that most people wait until they are so far behind the group cannot help them.

Finally, I just read an email from a friend lamenting the awful attacks on Supreme Court nominee Sotomayor. She concluded her email:

“Oh well, the sun will still rise in the east tomorrow whether we can see it through the clouds or not.”

There’s your answer, Papamoka.

Love, BJ

4:32 AM  
Anonymous Infidel753 said...

I can imagine how scary this is, but hang in there. Pretty much all economists now say the recession will be over within the next six months and employment will recover soon after that. You obviously have a very difficult time to get through now, but things will get back to normal.

I don't know what your landlord is like, but he might be willing to work with you on this. An apartment sitting vacant costs a landlord and produces no income at all, and new tenants can't be easy to get these days. He'd probably rather keep you there if possible.

Have you looked into temporary assistance from local government? I used to work for the county government here and they did have some programs aimed at situations like this.

Unfortunately I'm not in a position to help personally right now (next month may be different), but I linked to this in today's roundup which I hope will help.

7:05 AM  
Blogger sue said...

Oh PapaM I am so sorry to hear your pain! If I could give you the world I would, your family is precious! Friends here have given great advice, I hope you can find the help you need. Now you know thats why we voted for Obama, there is help out there you just gotta know the right place to go! I have family and friends in desparate situations too, its very scarey for them. I have a husband who is genius in money making schemes, when he lost his job of 15 years the month we bought this house, we were scared but that just made him more determined. He first started out cutting grass, then started his own painting business, now today he works a fulltime job at a refinery but knows he can always fall back on painting houses if the need arised. He also has a workclothes selling business which he does at fleamarkets and to private customers. So, sweetie, use your imagination, they say entrepreneurs are the backbone of this country! You can do it, have faith, pray, God will open doors for you if you don't lay down and feel sorry for yourself(which I know you won't!) God Bless you and your family and keep us updated on your progress!! Love ya sweetie!

7:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Papamoka, I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I really can't add anything to the excellent advise given here on potentially helpful agencies. And what Sue said- yes!

Things might seem completely out of control, but actually you will decide which turns to take.


11:53 AM  
Anonymous Carol said...

You have not lost your self respect, Papmoka. Everyone needs help sometime. I am on a disability pension, but live in Canada so I have no health care costs to content with. Also, my government pension is enough to pay my bills. I can afford to send $10.00 now and will try to send more as able. I have never read your blog before today, but your story has touched my heart. I have added you to my list now and will be a regular visitor. Your girls are beautiful and I cannot imagine them being homeless. I hope things work out.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Papamoka said...

It has been a very emotional day for me. I woke up this morning thinking that I was a piece of dirt and should just delete this post. That nobody cared about me and my little family, we are just a few folks on the map that is America. Is it okay to say that I thank all of the people that have responded to my request for help? I hope so because I am truly thankful.

I thank you all for your kind words and donations. I'm truly humbled by this experience and I can't thank everyone enough for your comments. It really touched my heart. The last of the girls just went to bed and I'm heading that way soon too.

Thank you everyone for helping our little family out in any way that you could. Hugs and love at ya!

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Posted a link on my blog, and a link to my Blog posting at Freedom's Phoenix.

Hope it helps.


9:54 PM  
Blogger The GTL™ said...

You KNOW I'm feeling your pain, brother. For REAL. I love ya man... hang in and call me if you need to. I'm working like 60 hours per week and it might take a day or at least hours to return the call but I'm here for ya. But then again, you already KNEW it.

10:33 PM  
Blogger Pink Granite said...

There's good advice already posted here Papamoka.

About 25 years ago, I was on unemployment, food stamps and housing assistance. It was hard, but I was and still am grateful for the safety nets our society has put in place. Plus it changed my perspective on those services; they are a hand up, not a hand out.

Reach out to every possible resource and ask every person you speak with if they have any other suggestions.

Wishing you and your whole family all the best...
- Lee

12:57 AM  
Anonymous Igor said...

Do you have credit card and unsecured loan debts?

If so, I may be able to help you end those payments and keep your money for your family.

You can reach me at

I am not looking to charge you for this.

1:29 AM  
Blogger DB said...

Good luck fella. I hope things work out. Keep your head up and your feet on the ground and an opportunity will present itself if you search for it.

11:58 PM  
Blogger by Michael Boh said...

Sorry about posting on top of this call for action PapaM - feel free to remove my post if you wish. I will also try to contact you soon about this issue. Hang in there buddy - Michael

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We didn't fall out of the same philosophical tree... but it's all family tree somehow.
Do you have a mailing adress (I don't know this tech stuff well). Post or email me.... I'm not in such a hot place myself...but there is always something extra around.
Be of as good a cheer as you can be.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you need a solid job I know a place that is hiring.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's possible that Mat has lost internet access. Charter cut his cable television off, and probably the phone and internet.

8:11 PM  

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